Masamune Kadoya's Number One Nature Documentary
by JuniperGentle
Summary: In which Masamune decides to make a documentary about life in the WBBA Tower and things get a little out of hand. Contains Masamune, Zeo, Toby, Masamune, bad Latin, Masamune, food – and some more Masamune. Also, complete crack. Set post-Nemesis.


_I was bored, I was meant to be doing something else, this happened. Set post-Nemesis._

* * *

**Masamune Kadoya's Number One Nature Documentary**

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Number One Nature Show! I'm your host, Masamune Kadoya, the number one biologist in the whole world!

Today, we will be exploring an environment with a very high level of diversity – the WBBA Tower and its various rooms. This is a habitat infested with rare and exotic species which we will be able to take a proper look at for the first time today.

First of all, on the bottom level of the Tower, we can see several members of the species _Bladerus Vulgaris_, or Common-or-Garden Bladers. These are incredibly common, and can be seen on almost every street. Please note that they do not make especially good pets, despite how common they are. They are generally at the bottom of the food chain, and will never win a fight against one of the rarer species we are about to see.

"_Hey, Masamune! Hey Zeo! What are you guys up to?"_

"_Oh, nothing much, Toby. Masamune's making a documentary or something so I said I'd be cameraman whilst he's narrating."_

"_Sounds fun! Can I join in?"_

"_Sure!"_

The usual cry of the_ Bladerus Vulgaris_ is "threetoowonletitrip", which signals to its fellow creatures that it is about to engage in battle, and therefore they should come and watch. Often, this same cry is used to alert others that a battle which doesn't even involve a _Bladerus Vulgaris_ will soon begin, normally between members of the genus _Legendus,_ a much stronger species. One of the most awe-inspiring sights in the world is that of thousands of _Bladerus Vulgarii_ watching a single battle between members of the _Legendus_ genus. If a single _Legendus_ is against a foe which threatens the entire ecosystem, however, the _Bladerus Vulgarii_ will lend the power of numbers to that _Legendus_ in order to protect the balance. This is such a rare sight that it has only been recorded happening twice in human history, and neither was captured in its entirety on film.

If we head up the stairs, we will come to the first level of the WBBA Tower. From here, we will begin to see members of the _Legendus_ genus, so keep your eyes peeled as we continue. This is the main eating area for these creatures, and – yes, we're in luck, if you just look over there you can see a prime example of the _Gingkari Haganus Legendus_ in its natural habitat, happily feeding on an absurd pile of hamburgers. It is currently accompanied by a _Benkasaurus Maximus_.

"_Hesh Mashamushey!"_

"_What? Gingka, I can't understand you with your mouth full!"_

"_I said hi, Masamune! What are you up to?"_

"_We're making a documentary about all the people who use the WBBA Tower and Masamune's giving everyone silly Latin names."_

"_Zeo! Stop spoiling things!"  
_

_"What? That's what we're doing, right?"  
_

_"What do you mean, weird Latin names?"_

"_Oh, you're the - what was it, Toby? Oh yeah, the _Gingkari Haganus Legendus._ And Benkei's the _Benkasaurus Maximus."

"_Um... I'm confused, but okay. Toby, Dad says he wants to see you later on in his office – something about you wanting to join the WBBA branch in America?"_

"_Yeah, I know what that's about. Thanks, Gingka!"_

The _Gingkari Haganus Legendus_ is renowned for its abilities to communicate with other similar creatures, even the _Bladerus Vulgarii_, and also for its ability to command great loyalty from those it befriends. It is a very, very strong creature and should never be underestimated.

"_Hey, I shouldn't be underestimated either! B-b-b-bull!"_

And the _Benkasaurus Maximus_ also should not be underestimated in either the volume of its cries, the amount it eats or the attack power it can summon. It is usually a companion creature to the incredibly powerful _Kyouyarcos Legendus,_ one of the very few creatures that can rival the _Gingkari_ for power, but the _Benkasaurus_ itself is not easy to defeat either. However, it can easily be distracted by food.

Now, if we proceed to the next level of the tower, we will find the places where many species of _Legendus_ choose to relax and play when their work is done. The path to finding them is difficult, as many are very secretive. Only a master such as I, Masamune Kadoya, the number one biologist in the world, knows where to find all of them!

As you can see, this habitat is especially suited to species who prefer a more solitary lifestyle and who do not socialise with other species as much as some do. The long, winding passages and the myriad doors make this place a rabbit warren, and it is here that the rarest of all the creatures can be found.

Aha! Here we have the very rare _Baorum Beylinfisticus_, which is not usually seen apart from its symbiotic companion creature _Agumarus Beylinfisticus Legendus –_ which indeed it isn't today, excellent luck! We will get to observe both these strange creatures in their usual habitat – though not their natural one, as they are only here on their annual migration.

"_Masamune, what on earth are you doing?"_

The _Baorum Beylinfisticus_ is known for its lightning-quick reactions and powerful attack. It is wise to keep one's distance when studying this creature, as it can aggressively defend its territory and its pack.

"_Ignore him, Bao, he's just being an idiot."_

"_Well I wish he wouldn't. We're trying to discuss what's happening next year. And what in the world is that _thing_ on Zeo's shoulder? Is that a camera?"_

"_I think so. Masamune, are you recording this?"_

"_Yes! We're doing a documentary... oh, yeah, I forgot. You wouldn't know what a documentary was. No TV in Beylin-Fist-Land."_

"_Masamune..."_

Whilst the _Baorum Beylinfisticus_ is renowned for its speed and attack, the _Agumarus Beylinfisticus Legendus_ is better known for its prodigious physical strength and battle tactics. When the two creatures combine their strengths, it is best to leave the vicinity immediately, especially if you have been noticed...

_*Static*_

_Static_

_*Static*_

Right, apologies for that interruption in the program. Aguma – I mean, the _Agumarus Beylinfisticus Legendus_ took exception to us invading its territory and chased us out. However, you may have seen, before we had to evacuate the area, an example of the very strange species known as _Dynamicus Legendus,_ which sometimes accompanies the _Baorum Beylinfisticus_ and the _Agumarus Beylinfisticus Legendus_ on their migrations, but usually lives in remote parts of Africa, high up in the mountains where it is almost impossible to find. Scientists have discovered that it has reflexes so sharp they border on precognition, and whilst it is not the strongest _Legendus_ it is the one to organise them all when a major threat comes their way.

Now, here we are in the main common room, where you can see a _Libra Tendus_ and a _Tithicor Legendus_ in battle. This is quite common and neither will be able to seriously harm the other, but they are very likely to cause significant damage to the surrounding area, which is probably why the _Yukius Mizusawae Legendus_ on the closest sofa has moved away somewhat and is watching them rather warily.

The _Tithicor _is best known for its timidity, as it will only ever appear accompanied by a _Libra Tendus_. This has led to some biologists believing that they are in fact members of a related species with a genetic link far closer to each other than has previously been expected. This is backed up by the physical comparisons between the two, as they look very similar apart from colouring. However, there has been no concrete evidence for this.

On the other hand, the _Yukius Mizusawae Legendus_ is best known for its intelligence, which gives it a considerable edge over some far more powerful members of the species. It has even been known to nearly defeat an _Agumarus Beylinfisticus Legendus_ in battle, alongside a _Gingkari Haganus Legendus,_ but unfortunately for both the _Yukinus _and the _Gingkari_, this particular _Agumarus_ was backed up by an unusually self-sacrificing _Baorum Beylinfisticus_ which sacrificed its own life to let the _Agumarus_ use its strongest weapon.

And over on the other sofa we have a prime example of the highly endangered species, _Tsubasaurus Otorimus_. It, too, is renowned for its intelligence, which whilst it may not compare to that of the _Yukius Mizusawae Legendus,_ is more applicable to the hunt than to the use of tools. The _Tsubasaurus_ does not mind hunting in packs with other species, as long as it gets its turn when it comes around, and is in general a very loyal companion to the other creatures it shares a home with. It has a symbiotic relationship with the local eagle population, which scientists are still studying in the hopes of understanding the almost telepathic bond that seems to exist between the two species.

It has been known for members of the _Tsubasaurus_ family to attack humans in exceptional situations, and whilst this can terrify the local _Legendus_ population, it is thankfully a rare aberration. However, it is currently giving us a very cross look so we will leave before it decides to pull an Aguma on us.

Whilst we make our way to the next area, it would be a good time to tell you just why all of these diverse species are in the same place. Though they all come from different places, all of them make an annual migration to this building, apparently in order to battle for dominance. It is unclear what the winner of these contests gets, beyond bragging rights.

We've reached the top of the tower now, where another battle area is currently occupied. Whilst all of the _Legendus_ genus are capable of causing enormous destruction around them, they are also all very fond of the comforts of home, food and bed, and are therefore less likely to cause widespread damage close to the areas where they do these things. Some of them, like the _Agumarus_, can be very territorial at times, preferring only the company of its trusted allies and chasing off any intruders.

As we step into the main room, you will see the last living specimen of the _Rex_ sub-species of the _Legendus_ family. It is known only as _Rex Legendus,_ and has greatly confused scientists studying it, as it appears to be able to change its form at will, or when under immense pressure.

"_Hah! Take that, Chris! You can't beat me!"_

"_Oh yeah? Try this: Orion, _Barnard's Loop!_"_

"_Special Move: _King of Thunder's Sword!_"_

"_Chris, King, the _ceiling!_"_

"_Oh stop worrying, Madoka, it'll be fine!"_

And with the _Rex Legendus_ we have the rare opportunity to see not only the _Christum Legendus_ with which it is fighting, but the ecologically vital _Madokasaurus Mechanicus, _which is one of the very few members of the overall species that has never entered a fight. Instead, it focuses on tools and strategy, making it a very powerful ally in larger battles. It is universally feared by members of the _Legendus_ genus and their sub-species for its temper, which can flare up very quickly and is difficult to escape. Even number one biologists fear to awaken this beast, and therefore we are going to leave before she notices us.

We have now reached the top of the tower, where we can find the last member of the _Legendus_ family sitting on the wall at the edge of the roof with one of its many companion creatures. To the immense sorrow of biologists and ecologists everywhere, the apex predator _Ryugarii Draco Sinister_ is now considered extinct. However, it is believed that its sub-species _Kentaphii Fried Chicken_ is -

"_Seriously, Masamune? That's the best name you could come up with?"_

"_Hey, what else was I meant to say? Kenta's name's really hard to Latinise! And "phi" is Latin for horse and he's got a centaur, so he ended up being Kentaphii. The rest just... happened. Stop laughing, Zeo, I'm hungry."_

"_Um, Masamune? You do know that your Latin knowledge is _completely_ wrong? Equus is Latin for horse. Phi comes from hippos, the _Greek_ for horse."_

"_... shut up, Toby."_

It is believed that its subspecies _Kentaquus Minor Legendus_ and _Ryutorii Draconis Minor_ are still very much alive, and still representing the fallen glory of the most powerful member of the _Legendus_ family, as can be seen here. These two have formed a unique bond, and will often travel together.

And so we come to the end of another episode of the Number One Nature Show! Tune in again next week for an in-depth study on the behaviours of the growing _Beylintemplum_ sub-genus in China! I'm your host, Masamune Kadoya, the number one biologist in the world, saying goodbye and keep an eye out for rare species in _your_ back garden!

"_That... that was pretty awesome."_

"_I know, right! Except the bit where Aguma kicked us out."_

"_We _were_ being pretty noisy, and it looked like they were having a serious meeting about something or other."_

"_Hey, Masamune?"_

"_Yeah, Zeo?"  
_

_"You know all that stuff about you being able to find all the Legendary Bladers earlier?"_

"_Yes, of course! I can find them all! Toby, what's that look for? Zeo, you too?"  
_

_"So, Masamune, where's Kyouya?"  
_

_"... off being Kyouya. He ruined my program without even _being_ here, the jerk. Now we'll have to do it all again and hope that he doesn't pull an Aguma on us... or that Aguma does..."_

"_..."_

"_..."_

"_On second thoughts, let's just go get some dinner."_


End file.
